4.8
Bad weather diverts Tom and Laura Jane from their Bahamas dream wedding. So, with friends, parents, and Laura's protective big brother, they land at a mystery hotel in Jamaica—which turns out to be a swinger's resort! Can the innocent couple avoid the nonstop booze, weed, naked bodies, and lusty dolphins long enough to make it to the altar?
Chord Overstreet
Tom
Olivia Culpo
Laura Jane
Luke Wilson
Lance
Aleksander Vayshelboym
Ricky
Adelaide Kane
Georgia
Matt McCoy
Manfred
E.E. Bell
Papa McGursky
Carolyn Hennesy
Mama McGursky
Maria Breese
Marie
Jon Lovitz
Jon Johnson
Carl Davis
Island Man
Leslie Stratton
Molly
Joshua Uduma
Father Tyrone
Boni Mata
Anna
Hayley Amber Smith
Natasha
Linda Purl
Sherry Fairfax-Rothstein
Dot-Marie Jones
Finley
Natalia Janoszek
Lifeguard
Oliver Cooper
Ira
Jessica Uberuaga
Mandy
Eric Michael Cole
Father Michael
Autumn Adele
Autumn
Paul Piercy
Consultant
Lola Sandra
Lola (as Lola Akinola)
King Orba
Howard Freeman
Eva Hamilton
Irene
Director
Matt Shapira
Writer
Scotty Mullen
Writer
Patrick McErlean
Writer
Christopher Hewitson
Writer
Clayton Hewitson
Writer
Justin Jones
August 29, 2022
1
According to IMDb, it took five people to write this movie; judging from the result – a series of unrelated vignettes characterized by half-baked ideas that set up a situation only to immediately drop it –, each wrote their contribution incommunicado from the other four.
We have an adman whose client, played by Jon Lovitz, apparently owns a jetpack company; never mind that jet packs have very few practical and no recreational uses. We also have a woman who designs dog clothing, and puts on a fashion show in her apartment living room for a pet store clerk, a broad dressed as Catwoman (who announces her intention to go to the bathroom by asking where the litter box is), and, for some reason, a Catholic priest, all while her roommate has a loud threesome with two guys wearing the uniform of the Argentine national soccer team. This will be the last time we ever hear about jet packs or doggy fashion, which is probably for the best.
These two individuals meet, and he asks her out; she replies that she has decided to abstain from dating until she has completed her first business transaction (it occurs to me that, were she a prostitute, she could kill two birds with one stone; crude, yes, but still funnier than anything in this movie, which settles on crude, period). Why make her say this, when the very next scene shows them already engaged? Of course, the reason the film doesn't bother with the characters' courtship is because it can't wait to get to Jamaica and quote-unquote delight us with frontal nudity, references to marijuana use, and scatological humor.
Consider this: a group of characters go sailing on a boat, and one of them regales the rest with tales of horny dolphins. Another character falls overboard and is surrounded by dolphins that are as anatomically correct as a CGI dolphin can be – which is not much, but the point is that we can clearly see why these animals are mammals and not fish. A third character dives to the rescue, and... nothing. The movie cuts to the next scene and that's it. We never know if the character is molested by dolphins (once again, that's probably for the better). Here's another example: a character runs into a blonde who, to his surprise, invites him to her hotel room; he gets over his astonishment, they leave together and…nothing. They walk off the frame, the movie cuts to another scene, and that's it.
And so on and so forth. The movie leaves a plethora of loose ends, but the biggest question is, what the hell is Luke Wilson doing in this unholy mess? Did the producers kidnap Owen and held him hostage, and Luke appearing in this debacle was the ransom? I mean, Jon Lovitz I can understand, but Luke Wilson? WTF?
Status:
Released
Original Language:
English
Budget:
$0.00
Revenue:
$0.00