A hard rock band travels to the tiny and remote town of Grand Guignol to perform. Peopled by hicks, rubes, werewolves, murderous dwarves, sex perverts, and Hitler, the town is a strange place but that doesn't stop the band's lead singer from falling in love with a local girl named Cassie. After Nazi sex perverts kill the band to satisfy their lusts, Cassie calls the rockers back from the grave to save her, the town, and maybe the world.
E.J. Curse
Jessie (as E.J. Curcio)
Geno Andrews
Sam Mann
Bobby
Mick McMains
(as Mick Manz)
Lisa Toothman
Elsa
Jennifer Coe
Cassie
Ted Wells
Ron
Jack Bliesener
Hitler
Richard Vidan
Sheriff
Phil Fondacaro
Mickey (as H.G. Golas)
Crystal Shaw Martell
Mrs. Buff (as Crystal Shaw)
Vincent De Stefano
Olaf
Gary Friedkin
Buckey
Christopher Perkins
Christian
Michael David Simms
Don Matson
Nadia
Eva
Susan Prevatte
Wolf Lady
Emanuel Shipow
Grandfather (as Emmanuel Shipov)
Stacy Stockman
Lu-Ann
David O'Hara
Ed
Jonathan King
Red
Donald Moran
Ted
David Schroeder
Cassie's Father
John Drake
Old Man / Ancient Man
Maria Porter
Maria
John Fleck
Arnold
Jack Albee
Old Villager
Dana Morgan
Sarah
Drew Wilson
Minister
Jon Wilder
Young Man
Walter Smith
Intellectual
Jo Griffin
Old Woman
Barbara King
Mother
January King
Little Girl
Mark Hawkins
Dennis
Ryan Andrews
Bill
Sally Craig
Groupie
Annabelle Larsen
Groupie
Susette Andres
Groupie
Susan Y. Wilson
Groupie
Hisako Mura
Groupie
Tegan Patino
Groupie
Rhonda Jones
Groupie
Donna Boise
(uncredited)
Director, Writer
Krishna Shah
Writer
David Allen Ball
September 18, 2022
6
**_Creative & zany cult horror comedy combined with 80’s pop rock music videos_**
An up-and-coming rock band in SoCal does some live gigs to impress a record company agent, but is warned by a winsome girl to stay away from her ultra-conservative village, which is the next town on their schedule. Horror ensues. E.J. Curse plays the front man, Jessie. “Hard Rock Zombies” (1985) is a madcap horror comedy with a lot of early 80’s pop rock by Paul Sabu and a kinetic, but slapdash tone akin to music videos of the time period. It's intentionally ridiculous yet the first half is genuinely funny with several laugh-out-loud scenes, not to mention a great twist (I’m talking about something linked to the Nazi element).
The second half isn't as effective, since it only has a few amusing bits, but it features the two best songs on the soundtrack: The heavy & haunting chant-like "Morte Ascendere" and the rockin' "Street Angel.” The rest of the songs are too pop-oriented for my tastes, but they’re fun and fit the whacky, eccentric air.
Being a zany cult flick with music video editing, don’t expect anything like “Trick or Treat” (1986), “Shock ’Em Dead” (1991), "Black Roses" (1988) or “Rocktober Blood” (1984). This is a whole different animal. It throws in everything but the kitchen sink—rock stars, groupies, crazy editing, lotsa music, the proverbial hot blonde (Lisa Toothman), monstrous midgets, a werewolf grandmother in a wheel chair, redneck yokels and freakin’ Nazis.
It’s a meshing of “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls” (1970) with campy non-horror and pop rock vids. Some call it “the worst film ever made” or “an Ed Wood movie if he were around in the 80s,” but it’s too enthusiastic and entertaining to be denounced like this. If you roll with it rather than against it, the flick gives you a good time.
Because of the front man’s attraction to Cassie, some critics have accused the film of having “pedophilia overtones,” but they evidently don’t know what pedophilia means. Pedophilia is sexual interest in children whereas hebephilia is attraction to pubescent youths who are in early adolescence (11-14) and ephebophilia is attraction to teens in later adolescence (15-19). Since Cassie appears to be about 15-16, the front man would be an ephebophile, not a pedophile. In short, the girl’s definitely jailbait, but Jessie’s interest in her doesn’t make him a “pedophile.”
The movie runs 1 hour, 37 minutes, and was shot at The Rindge House and other parts of the Los Angeles area.
GRADE: B-/C+
Status:
Released
Original Language:
English
Budget:
$0.00
Revenue:
$0.00