William Hellfire

Derwin

Joey Smack

Derick

Erin Brown

Bible Girl

Lilly Tiger

Play Girl

Chris Perez

Car Kid

Robert Manrique

Retard

Ryan Trimmer

Benchpress

Kendall 'Shorty' Ward

Afro-American

Marie Mazur

Song Girl

Liz Bathory

Goth Girl

Mickey Ovum

Spam Jock

Michael L. Raso

Young Derwin / The Police Chief

John Bacchus

The Preacher

John Paul Fedele

G.U.N. Association Representative

Nathan Lanman

Cameraman

John Link

Scientist

Bob Gonzo

Entrepreneur