An American Carol

Kevin Farley

Michael Malone

Kelsey Grammer

General George S. Patton

Leslie Nielsen

Osama Bin Nielsen / Grandpa

Trace Adkins

Angel of Death

Robert Davi

Aziz

Geoffrey Arend

Mohammed

Travis Schuldt

Josh

Jon Voight

President George Washington

James Woods

Todd Grosslight

Dennis Hopper

Judge Clarence Henderson

Kevin Sorbo

George Mulrooney

Bill O'Reilly

Himself

David Alan Grier

Rastus Malone

Gary Coleman

Slave

Christopher McDonald

Lab Technician

Serdar Kalsin

Ahmed

Oliver Muirhead

Neville Chamberlain

Karri Turner

Lab Tech 2

Alaina Huffman

Celebrity 1

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton

Simon Rex

Simon Rex

Dana Lyn Baron

Speaker 1940's

Julian Berlin

Woman at Awards Party

Cocoa Brown

Airport Security Guard 1

Jen Halperin

Hottie

Mary Castro

Hottie

Nikki DeLoach

Lily

Susan Deming

It's That Michael Malone!

Katie Gill

Rehearsal Actress

Cameron Goodman

Political Aide

Camille Meyer

I Gave up an Ass Lift for This?

Mary Hart

Entertainment Tonight Host

Kaleigh Kennedy

Becca/Kaleigh

Simone Lotter

Partygoer 2

Jillian Murray

Heather

Gail O'Grady

Jane Wagstaffe

Anna Osceola

Molly Duncan

Lu Parker

Reporter 1

Amy Povich

Airport Passenger 1

Jane Justice Park

Reporter 2

Jenna Vogeler

Tiny Tina/Jenna

Lauren Lee Smith

Voice of Reason

Nadine Ellis

Parent

Marilyn Rising

Parent

Julianne Waters

Columbia Student '1968'

Christy Williams

Columbia Student '1968'

Alexander DiPersia

Rehearsal Actor

Sandi Johnson

Professor

Mark Vafiades

Look Out! It's Those Christians!

Jesse Heiman

Young Michael Malone

Brent Lydic

Wounded Soldier

Chriss Anglin

John F. Kennedy

Brandon Alter

He's Much Fatter in Person.

Scott Bailey

Celebrity 2

Morgan Beck

"Free History Term Papers"

Randall Bosley

Mussolini

Joanne Bowland

Intern

Vicki Browne

Rosie O'Connell

Jeff Corbett

Policeman 2

Rebekah Crane

Girl Scout

Tony X. Deale

Security Guard

Chrisanne Eastwood

Hippie 2

Mell Flynn

"Traitor!"

Lisa Fredrickson

Singer

Carl De Gersdorff

Teddo

Eileen Gonzales

Reporter on TV

Allen Lee Haff

Airport Security Guard 2

Joe Hartzler

'Marines!' / Sassy Sailor

Mark Henderson

Minister 2

Benton Jennings

Hitler

Jack Kelly

You're a Disgrace Protest Yeller

Coco Leigh

Nun on Bus

Zachary Levi

Lab Tech 1

Joey Luthman

Boy Scout

Rich McDonald

Thought You Hated Country Music!

Meghan McEveety

Trophy Girl

Brighid McEveety

Girl at BBQ

Steve Monroe

Airport Passenger 2

Tyler Jacob Moore

Marty

Joey Naber

Terrorist 2

Durrell Nelson

Chaplain

John O'Hurley

Silvano

David Oved

Afghan Prisoner 2

Norman Panto

Accordion Player

Robert Pierce

Minister 1

Bill Posley

Mose Malone

Oren Rehany

Terrorist on Bike

F. Lee Reynolds

Subway Policeman

Bryant Romo

"Sailors!"

Elizabeth Scott

I'm Starved.

Evan Sayet

Patient in Line

Atticus Shaffer

Timmy / Atticus

Sammy Sheik

Subway Terrorist

Abbie Shepherd

Trophy Girl at BBQ

Joe Sikorra

Policeman (MSG) 1

Steve Spiro

Cuban Commander

Richard Tanner

Village Voter

Peter F. Tegan

Stagehand

Fred Travalena

Jimmy Carter

Hiroshi Ueha

Tojo

Lee von Ernst

Hippie 1

Josh Zucker

Voice of Reason

Sarah Zucker

Voice of Reason

Paul R. Goldberg

Cocktail Musician

John T. Hatton

Cocktail Musician

Allen Simpson

Cocktail Musician / Musician

Joanna Repsold

Wedding Guest

Badger Wagstaffe

Wedding Guest

Cheryl Baxter

Parent

Troy Christian

Parent

Laura Fremont

Parent

Michael Higgins

Parent

Elisabeth Jee

Parent

Blane Savage

Parent

Marc Oka

Parent

Carlton Wilborn

Parent

Heather Lea Gerdes

Professor

Marcy Goldman

Professor

Ernest Harden Jr.

Professor

Anthony Marciona

Professor

Stan Mazin

Professor

Bubba Dean Rambo

Professor

Jerry Trent

Professor

Keith Allan

Plantation Singer

Fred Braggs

Plantation Singer

Eddie Eason

Plantation Singer

Jimmy Fisher

Plantation Singer

Julio Hanson

Plantation Singer

Tyree Mills

Plantation Singer

Andre Washington

Plantation Singer

Reshma Gajjar

Columbia Student '1968'

Christopher Jenkins Holmes

Columbia Student '1968'

Brian Michael Jones

Columbia Student '1968'

Eric Gustafson

Musician

David Kogge

Musician

Dan Vulovic

Musician

Adam Yasmin

Musician

Paris Hilton

Self